It was so difficult for me to take that decision. For the first time in my life, I had visited a psychiatrist. I was so lost in my own world that I wasn’t even aware that when they called my name. Sneha, my elder sister tapped my shoulder and brought me back to this world, the world which is known as “The Real World”. She grabbed my hand tightly and took me to the room inside where Dr Sarita sees her patients. I sat down on the chair without even looking up.
“Hi Mayank, How have you been?” she said but I was still looking at the ground. I managed to nod my head and I took a glance at her face. Dr Sarita had a very angelic face. It was glowing from all the positivity in the world. It was giving me a kind of feeling that I can share what’s going inside my head, my heart and in my Body from the last couple of…. Months, Days, Weeks…. I really don’t know.
“Are you comfortable dear?” she said with a concerned voice.
“Yes Ma’am” I replied without thinking much.
“Sneha would you mind waiting outside? I think Mayank isn’t comfortable” She said with a vibrant smile.
“No Sneha, Please don’t go.” I almost cried like a baby.
“Okay Mayank, Relax! She isn’t going anywhere.” She gave me a glass of water and I gulped it all down in a single sip. Half of the water spilled on my shirt.
“Hmm So let’s get started, my dear friend. I just read in your file that you love a girl and she is missing from a couple of days. Things aren’t much clear from this. I would love to hear each and everything from you. I know it’s extremely difficult to express everything but trust me, I will try my best to help you, dear. She said keeping her hand on mine.
I thought for a minute. After a bit of awkward silence, I took the decision to tell her everything. I just wanted to vomit it all out in a single breath. It was killing me from inside. I tried my best to remain patient. Tears were welling up in my eyes. “I…. I loved her so much.” My sister patted my back so that I can keep myself calm.
“It all started on a Sunday evening when I was coming back from my gym. I was drenched in sweat when I entered through the gate of my street. I was walking to my home when I noticed that a carrier truck was parked in between the street. Ahh! I was shocked when I saw that new residents came to our street. I was born and brought up at that the same locality. But, I’ve always seen house no. 130 vacant and unmanaged. I’ve heard from my friends and parents that this property is disputed. I was so shocked to see that finally, someone came to stay there.” I said in a single breath.
“It was almost dark when they were unloading the truck and keeping each piece of furniture in the verandah of the house. I was watching everything calmly from a distance. Suddenly, a bald man, who must be in his late forties, came and took out his wallet to pay money to the labours who were standing near the truck. ‘that must be the one who has come to reside there’ I thought. He was looking very aggressive. I thought about going and having a word with our new neighbours. But he looked at me expressionlessly and went inside. That was indeed very rude of him. I turned my face and went to my home.”
“That night, I had a very strange dream. I saw my Grandmother who was giving me a book to read. When I looked at the book closely, I saw it was Shreemad Bhagwant Geeta’s English Translation. I opened that book randomly and what I read was a couplet which was describing the nature of The Soul. It can’t be created nor can be destroyed. I read it very clearly. I woke up around 5.30 in the morning and wrote everything about that dream in my journal. It was so realistic and it was extremely hard to believe for me that it was a dream. Provided, My Grandmother died back in 2009.”
“I was sitting in the park near my home after a couple of hours. I was tired after running for almost half an hour. I sat on a bench near the entry gate. And then I saw her.” My sister held my hand more tightly when she saw tears again welling up in my eyes.
“Neha was playing badminton with her little sister. she was extremely beautiful. Her smile was something I can’t express in mere words. It was so vibrant. Her eyes, they were deep. They expressed her each and every emotion. She was playing just to make her sister happy, I could clearly sense that.”
“She looked at me through the corner of her eyes. I knew she was noticing me looking at her but I was not ready to look anywhere else. I was looking at her without even blinking my eyes. Her sister went to fill her water bottle and suddenly her Smile vanished in the sky. She came and sat on a nearby bench, looking silently at the grass. Suddenly, that bald man, whom I saw last night came and sat next to her. He was wearing lose track pants, just like our Old Hindi film stars used to wear. He looked like a badass typical villain. I saw her over-conscious when that man sat beside her”
” ‘Yes Papa, I’ll take care of her’. She said without maintaining an eye contact with that man. But, I was more than happy when I realized that she was our neighbour. That man still looking angry at something or someone. Maybe God has given him a super aggressive face naturally. He stood up and said something very slowly. She was looking a bit disturbed. She looked at me suddenly and this time I started looking somewhere else. Her Dad went away from the opposite gate of the park.”
“I’m just so bad at communicating with people around me, but I really don’t know how I got the courage to go and sat next to her. She was noticing each and every movement of mine. ‘Hi, I’m Mayank and I reside in 126, just 3 houses away from yours.’ I wasn’t able to believe that I did that thing. I’m an introvert since my birth. I was feeling a strange Vibration in my whole body. She smiled like a kid. and it was a smile to die for.”
” ‘My Dad doesn’t like you.’ she said with a twinkle in her eyes. She was still smiling. ‘But I don’t even know your Dad, Neither he did.’ I replied.”
“‘ Neha, by the way.’ She extended her hand and we shook hands. Her hand was just so tiny and cold. I can’t forget that feeling. ‘and what do you do Neha?’ I asked her to speak more and more. I was getting so attracted to her. Her voice was so darn mesmerizing. I felt an indescribable calmness and peace in her voice. ‘I’m a Science Graduate but I don’t work anywhere.’ She replied. ‘That’s cool, and if I may ask, why your Dad doesn’t like me?’ She giggled and replied ‘he doesn’t like any guy even looking at me.'”
“She stood up and lifted her Badminton Racquet and waved her hand to say a goodbye. ‘Hey where’s your sister ?’ i asked. ‘I have no other sibling Mayank’ She said with a smile and went towards the exit. Slowly, she went back towards her home. I watched her till she disappeared from my sight. She was the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“I stood up and started running again. I was smiling again and again, reliving each and every moment in my mind. On the other side of the park, I saw that little girl playing with other kids. She had a similar smile like Neha. It was so hard to believe that they weren’t;t sisters. She looked at me expressionlessly and started playing again .”
Dr Sarita was standing near the window and my sister was still holding me. I was smiling while tears were rolling down my cheeks. The only thing I love about past is that I can’t change it. And that’s the only thing I hate also.