It was a lovely evening and I was sitting with my sister, who is a primary school teacher by profession. She loves her job and got a very observant mind. She told me one incident which made me write this article.
One day after giving some mathematics sums to solve, she told one of the brightest student of her class to bring some notebooks from the Staff room. He quickly got up from his chair and ran to the staff room to complete the job assigned to him. He came back in 5 minutes and sat back on his chair. After a couple of minutes, the boy sitting next to him started crying and cursing. When my sister enquired what had happened, she got to know that The guy who went to the staff room, tore away some pages of his neighbour’s notebook, because of no particular reason. She scolded him and told him to say sorry to that guy. The scene ended with a happy ending, but my sister was continuously thinking about that incident. she was very desperate to know that why a kid like him did that. When she returned home, she discovered the main reason behind that whole incident. He couldn’t accept his defeat. He was taking those Idiotic Maths problems too seriously, that it disturbed him to the core that his partner was ahead of him in solving his sums and completing his assignment. Sounds strange, isn’t it? Actually No, if you try to recall your school days, you’ll be able to remember some incidents like this with you or around you.
Believe it or not, our brain is trained since childhood in such a way that it takes any kind of defeat or failure darn too seriously. We feel kind of jealous, Envious and Angry when we see someone getting ahead of us. It disturbs us to the core, isn’t It?
Since the day we are born, we have always learned to win. We have always considered that losing is something unacceptable. Second Position is considered as a serious defeat, a complete failure, isn’t it? Today, I’m writing this article not to debate or not to raise any argument but to justify two important things that are completely missing from our Education as well as from Value system.
1) The Need of Emotional Intelligence
Now you might have heard this word innumerable times, but let me simplify it for you. Emotional Intelligence is a skill of utmost control in which you are able to understand what’s right and what’s not. It’s a sense of self-awareness and a way to fit yourself in someone else’s shoes. It is to consider yourself not as Superman, but a mere mortal and to remain still and happy in the phase of success as well as of Failure. To conclude, Emotional Intelligence is accepting the way you Are, learning to be better every day and To show empathy towards the people around you.
Now, unfortunately, This Concept of Emotional Intelligence is still alien to the students all around our nation. Students are not ready to accept their defeat and committing the things which they should not. Suicides, Acid Attacks, Rapes, Attempt to murders, Drug and alcohol addiction are just some of the brutal things which are getting common among the students because they are not able to deal with the turbulence of their own emotions. So clearly, there is a gap in our Education system which immediately needs to be filled. It’s good to work on Student’s IQ, but it is a waste of time and money and life if a student has a Low EQ. No matter how much you succeed or how much money you are earning, you can’t skip the challenges of life. It will come in front of you again and again unless you face it and learn to deal with it. So my point is, to make this nation more peaceful, Happy and Prosperous, we need to make our children learn that art of managing one’s emotions.
2) The Definition of Good Parenting
Now you might be thinking who in the world I’m to tell you about How to do parenting. I’m just writing what I genuinely feel and it’s okay if you have contradictory beliefs.
What I think Is, no matter how much we blabber about what to do and what not to do, our children have a very pragmatic mind. They don’t learn from our theories and believes, they learn by the example we present in front of our children. Just to illustrate, if you don’t wear the helmet while riding your bike or you don’t wear the seat belt while driving your Car, no matter how many times you tell your children to wear the seat belt, he will never be comfortable with it. The reason is quite obvious that you are not setting that example in front of your child.
The problem is, we always want that our child always walks ahead of their Peer and friends. Directly or indirectly, we pressurise them to do what we want not what they want. We always tell them to play safe. But you know what, “Giants always rise and fall, but Worms don’t, because what all they do IS, Drag and Crawl”. So I think instead of showing the way to our children, we must first learn to walk on that way. We first need to understand and observe all those hurdles which will be there on that way before making our child walk on that path. We need to set a living example for them. Because theories look good in books, but in real life, the things work in that area which is considered as “Exceptions ” in the books. So, my dear friends, don’t always show your children a rigid way. instead of that start working on building his character.
This brings me to the end of this article, I remember that when I was in school, there was a guy in my class who generally used to score the First position every time. I clearly remember, in our midterm exams, once he scored the Second Position. He cried like a baby and ran behind the teacher to give him some extra marks, considering that he was a born Topper. I flunked in that exam, but I cross my heart and say, I never ran behind my teacher to give me passing marks. Ego satisfaction, on one hand, is a very transitory concept, but it is never ending and traps us in a vicious circle.
So I thank you for Reading this and yes, I want you to ask yourself tonight that whether you are busy in satisfying your ego or are you ready to know your real self and ready to be a better person you were a day before?
Love, Laughter and Peace
Himanshu R Nagpal