Today I will tell you an anecdote about a lady, she is around 60 years of age now. Why I want to tell you this story is because there are many learnings for all of us in this walk through of her life. She now regrets on many things for her actions in past but as we all know, time never comes back. So, there is no option to correct those mistakes now. She resides near to my home, and she often meets me at society park. She always looks upset and depressive. I have noticed a couple of times that she keeps calculating something in her mind while sitting in the park. I asked her one day, “what is the issue, aunty? May I help you in any way?” She said “nobody can help me, even I can’t help myself now?” then I replied, “Aunty you can share with me your problem, I am like your daughter.” She narrated the whole story. I felt bad and pity for her.
Guys, it is not about her kids who left her alone, it is not about she lost her family, it is all about her actions and her demanding attitude. So please read and share your reviews, this is about Mrs. Pratibha Sharma, wife of late Shri Amar Sharma. So, this is written in her words.
Hi All, I am Mrs. Pratibha Sharma, I am a social worker I don’t belong to any NGO or group. I just want to help society whenever required. I was very practical and less emotional woman. I was a happily married lady some 35 years ago. I was lucky to have a husband and in laws like them, very nice people. I got married to a businessman Mr. Amar Sharma, he was a simple and honest man. He was very polite and kind unlike me. I was very rude and aggressive type of person, since childhood, I was like this, no feelings, no happiness only negativity. Even today I don’t know why that aggression was there. Everything was so good, still, I expected that things should be done as per my way. I have two daughters and one son. All three are like their father, thank God, they are like him, sweet and simple. But they were always afraid of me. Because I kept ruling their life. I never gave them space and freedom. They were too good to both of us. Their father tried showing affection and love to them. However, because of my anger, he also maintained a space with them. Eventually, he believed everything I say, he was so innocent to judge why I am doing this, he supported me. I used to say bad words to him, whenever he was late from the shop or whenever he was late for giving me money. I was so much money lover, that I was fond of knowing other’s income and net worth. I never earned money but I felt like an owner of my husband’s money.
I did not have any idea about why I am like this. I always need perfection. If my son went to tuition for an hour, and he used to take 15 minutes to come back, so whenever he was late by even 10 mins, I used to shout at him and beat him too. That poor guy used to cry and say “teacher took a long session today” but I never forgave him. That rule applied to all in the family. My kids started hating me. It was strange as all kids have a different affection with their mom. I was the only exceptional mom, who was so unlucky that who never realized to show affection and love to her family. This practical approach towards life ruined me, I kept calculating profit and loss in each situation.
Then secondly, my husband was earning good, he had a good repo in society as an honest businessman. So we didn’t have financial crunch. So I used to donate money to the needy, a couple of times I took the responsibility of marriage expense of some underprivileged girls. But again there was a bad quality I used to announce this that I have donated this much, I used to tell the whole story of my activities to my relatives and friends. I was craving only for praise and applause. People use to say” see, Mrs. Sharma is a great lady, she does so much for society.” I get the satisfaction only with this praising, not at the time of doing that activity. As the time goes by, they started taking me for granted. They knew that I am doing these things in good faith. But they hated me for this attitude of showing off to everyone that I am doing good. Because it is always a teaching to us and we often read that do good but do not show off. As God is watching you, you will get the return and you will be paid off for your good deeds. But don’t ever show off.
I was so reluctant to accept these teachings. So as I told you people started taking me for granted. Initially, I had a huge network of friends, society, family, and relatives. But people started leaving me alone, nobody likes me now. As my kids grown up and mature enough to judge what is right or wrong for them, they were settled in their lives, they also started ignoring me. They understood I am a stone hearted person, I don’t have feelings for anyone. I was always so rude to them. In their school going years I never paid attention, I was busy in so called social service. I refrained from attending their parent teachers meet, they used to go with their father or uncle. I never attended their annual function in school or award ceremonies. I gave them the things they demanded, all the material stuff. But they were expecting the love too, which I never gave importance to. I was always being calculative. This should be perfect that should be done on time etc. I demanded good scores from my kids, and they worked hard for me and gave the results so that I can show off in front of others that my kids are intelligent.
What type of lady was I? And how I can correct the things now? There is no option? How will I forgive myself? Is there any solution? No, you cannot give me a solution because I have lost all of them. Because my husband left me forever when I was 52 and my kids got settled in different cities and their own families, they don’t want to talk to me even. I feel myself as a culprit. I never kept my family happy only because of my aggressive attitude.
They asked me many times, mom, why you are like this, my younger daughter, when she was a 6-year-old girl, she asked me one day, “Mom my friends talk about their moms in school, their moms love them a lot, she teach them good habits, she tell her kids wonderful stories also. Why don’t you love me Mom, why you are always so busy? I need you, Mom. And my answer to this was “Enough Priya, I am busy go and sleep, you will be late for school. Go, don’t disturb me.
After some years when my son got married, he gave us a chance to reside with them, he was aware of my behavioral issue still gave me an option to stay with him, he wanted parent’s blessings and love. I and his father went to Bangalore for around 2-3 months. His wife is respectful and adorable. However, I failed to maintain that relation too. Due to aggression on small topics, I used to shout on both. I used to trouble them by saying “what is this, why the food is not cooked as the way I make, “why you wore this, change the saree, I don’t like this color”, “why are you late from office today”. These were my daily quarrel topics. They got fed up with me and my husband suggested that we should go back to our home town.
I sobbed, I cry now a lot. My kids are the most wonderful persons as a human being. I can only say I am sorry, I am sorry from the bottom of my heart. Trust me if I will get one more chance of life as a Human Being I will correct all the mistakes I have done in this given life. God forgive me.
So guys, it is not always the same story that kids are rude to parents and are not responsible enough. Sometimes parents have this attitude too.
Thanks all, so this was the story I wanted to tell you. Moral of the story is
- Love your family, they should be your priority
- Don’t run for material things
- Help but don’t announce, let others observe that, so there will be a good place for you in their heart
- Aggression is injurious to health and family, be happy
- Being practical is fine but emotions and feelings play a vital role in life
- For few things being a strict parent is good, but leniency is also must for your kids, else they will move away from you
Be happy, keep smiling and count your blessings!!