Commitment phobia is the fear of involving in a long term relationship. It is the insecurity or a fear feeling in a person, who is not ready to commit to a relation. In today’s era many people are facing this anxiety. There are many causes of commitment phobia. As we all know, relationships are not so easy. We all have our own priorities, our likes and dislikes, so when we are in a relationship, we need to sometimes compromise to keep the relation going on. This may cause some insecurity in people and they deny committing.
Sometimes, it also happens that a person can develop this feeling of anxiety after a miss happening or a trauma. May be he was committed to someone at a certain point in time, and his partner ditched him. So he got a big shock and not able to overcome this failure. Guys, we all are humans, and our human nature is unpredictable. We meet variety of people in our lifetime. Some are friends for lifetime, some are only colleagues, and some are our well-wishers. But commitment plays a vital role. In each relationship promise is the bridge of trustworthiness. This promise makes the families keep going.
From this, I remember one incident, I had a friend in my hostel Simran, she was in relationship with a guy Abhigyan. Simran was very jolly, charming, cute girl. And Abhigyan was just opposite, serious, rude and not so happy kind of person. But we say opposite attracts. She loved to spend time with him. After college she used to go with him for coffee or shopping or long walk. However the twist in her life was, Abhigyan just don’t agree for the commitment. Whenever she pops up the topic of marriage, Abhigyan gets irritated. He used to say, we enjoy together but this does not mean we are perfect couple. I need time to think. Finally one day she broke off with him. We are still not sure, what was the reason of this anxiety with Abhigyan. Why he was paralyzed with commitment phobia. Similarly, there are many such cases happening, guys and girls are involved in these kinds of love affairs, but they fail to commit. Commitment goes hand in hand with responsibility, and which is a big thing for today’s generation to accept. New generation does not want the burden and responsibilities that come with marriage. They just enjoy, hang out, watch movies together, but when the time comes for commitment they go for arrange marriage. They choose the partner as per their parent’s expectations.
So guys, if you have any friend who seems like facing these types of issues of commitment phobia, please try to help him. It can be cured. It’s just based on certain experiences. As I told you the frequency of these issues are increasing in today’s era. Can we guess why? We are living in modern society; we are running with smart technology in a new world. Now we are frequently connected with our loved ones because of this technology. Because of various gadgets, applications, social networking websites, we are so much indulge in personal life of our closed ones. We have become modern now. But can we think deeply for a moment? Can we think that what we are doing is seriously correct? We are happy to hang out with friends; we go for parties, ready to drink with colleagues. But when it comes to commitment, we take a step back. The trust factor is vanishing somewhere. The commitments are turning into failures.
Now days, we are taking our closed relationships for granted. We are maintaining profit and loss accounts in our relations. We are again reliving the barter system as in give and take relationships. If he has done something for me so I will do something in return. Otherwise I am busy to bother about his issues. Correct? Is it happening? Here takes the birth this anxiety, commitment phobia. But yes, this is also true that some people are really helpful, they are well – wishers and good friends for lifetime. But for sure this number is diminishing.
I was reading one write up on commitment phobia, so got to know about certain causes of it:
- Fear of being in an unhealthy relationship
- Trust issues because of past break up
- Childhood shock or family failure
- Complicated relationship issues in siblings or close friend’s life
So people may face these causes in life, and generated this feeling of anxiety and fear.
My suggestion to those people are, try to keep calm and try to move on in life. Every relationship cannot have a drastic end. Relationships blossom as well. There are many examples where life partners support each other to be successful in life. Just have faith in yourself, just be happy, and accept the facts. Trust on people then only they will have trust on you. Thank you Jaya (my sis) for suggesting this topic.
Be happy, keep smiling and count your blessings!!