It had been a month or so since I returned home from Singapore. Life was back to routine now. Aayush had also returned back to his home in Mumbai. We had been talking consistently since the time we had met. Even my best friend Vartika in Delhi envied him as I was spending more time with him virtually than with her.
It was the month of July and it was raining that day when my crush in school days ‘Tushar’ messaged me on face book, I was attracted towards him from past 6 years already. So, thinking there is no harm in talking, I replied to him. Later that day I told Aayush about him. He didn’t want to keep me in cage, so he acted casually with it. Soon Tushar also became part-n-parcel of my life.
As I started mingling with Tushar more with each passing day, somewhere my bond with Aayush was loosening up.
After 2-3 months, Tushar asked me out. I asked Aayush whether I should go or not? Aayush being understanding and mature said ‘if you wish to go, u must go.’ The next morning I met Tushar, he complimented me for my new blue dress which I was wearing that day. Then we watched a bollywood movie and had a lunch date.
Tushar was a handsome guy, his sense of humour made me laugh a lot of times. His caring nature, respectful attitude and most importantly the fact that he lives here in Delhi only and not 1400 kms away, were the things that attracted me more. We went out on few more dates and I started knowing him more closely now. On 24th of November, exactly four months after Aayush’s birthday, Tushar proposed me. I was happy but confused with his proposal. Therefore, asked for some time to think.
‘I need some time to think’ was just an excuse, actually I had to ask my best-friend. Aayush gave me full freedom to decide, he said ‘do what gives you happiness’.
I started giving myself reasons as in why Aayush doesn’t like me? The first reason I gave myself was that if Aayush really liked me and wanted me to be his girlfriend then he would have proposed me yet, but he hasn’t. Therefore, he doesn’t want a relation with me. The second thought that came to my mind was that Aayush is so intelligent (he is in IIT) and has killer looks, so why would he be interested in me, an average looking girl? Third was that if he didn’t wanted me to say yes to Tushar, the he could have stopped me, when I told him about the proposal instead of being cool with it.
Thinking of all this, I said yes to Tushar the very next day. I was so happy to see him delighted by my ‘yes’.
The trust, bond, spark between me and Aayush was leaving us at that moment. I wish I knew the true feelings Aayush had for me; though I knew that but I had failed to realise and reciprocate his eternal love for me.
I had a gut feeling that I am cheating Aayush but by giving all those stupid reasons to myself, I ignored it.
In the evening I messaged Aayush, telling him about my yes to Tushar. I received an instant call from Aayush yelling at me and asking how, when and why. I gave him detailed description of how and when and to his why I replied because I liked him.
My answer broke his heart, he felt dejected and he switched off his phone for some days.
Though I knew I am the reason for Aayush’s sufferings, I pretended to myself that it is not my fault.
Meanwhile me and Tushar started meeting daily and everything had become like a fairytale. Soon Aayush came to Delhi to play the role of villain in my and Tushar’s love story. Aayush saw me with Tushar walking hand in hand outside my college. I was shocked to see him. He approached me demanding some alone time. I introduced Aayush to Tushar as my best friend and Tushar as my love.
Tushar had some work and left me with Aayush, Aayush held me furiously and asked
“What are you doing?”
I sternly replied
“Tushar’s not the right guy for you”
We had arguments, he shouted at me and I spoke rudely with him. Aayush was continuously trying to explain me several things but I was rigid to what I had assumed.
Aayush and I went for a coffee and there he calmly tried every single way to make me understand, but I was not ready to listen to him.
After trying for 3 days, he accepted his defeat and went away saying ‘I am permanent in your life, people like Tushar will come and go but I will always be there for you’.
-To Be Continued( part 5 will be uploaded on 5th June 2017)
-Believe in yourself and keep smiling